In April of this coming year, Lauren and I will have been married for twenty-five years. How have we done it? I’m glad you asked. Conversations like the following reveal how. Tuesday night, I had school committee business to present to the Halifax Board of Selectmen. Lauren volunteered to drive Graham to the church forContinue reading “How to Stay Married for Twenty-Five Years”
Tag Archives: Humor
Follow the Clues
Look carefully. What do you see? You think that’s a belt on the basement stairs, right? How about this? Just a sock on the stairs to the second floor, right? Right? Try this. Have you put the pieces together yet? No? More clues: Clear now? No? Sigh. It looks like household clutter and stuff inContinue reading “Follow the Clues”
Bonus Post: Crazy Head
Lindsay was probably nine years old and Lucia eleven when we were playing soccer in the front yard and Lucia antagonized Lindsay. I don’t remember exactly what the issue was, but Lucia was clearly at fault and Lindsay clearly was not. So I got irritated with Lucia, spoke sharply to her, and banished her toContinue reading “Bonus Post: Crazy Head”
Quotes from the Road
We finished traveling to Grant’s game, watched it, then headed to Princeton for Lindsay’s wrestling tournament. We met Lindsay for dinner. Family friend John Howe traveled with us. Here are various texts, conversations, and one-liners from the day. Grant [text read aloud over Apple CarPlay]: Marvin Harrison Jr is not the best ever. I hateContinue reading “Quotes from the Road”
Bonus Post: The Day after We Fall Back
Me: Graham, did you set your clock back? Graham: Yes, Dad. I guess Grant wasn’t here to change his.
Our House Is Run by Fairies
Our house is run by mildly competent fairies. When the soap is running low in a bathroom, people announce that we need the soap fairy to visit since the humans can’t possibly refill it themselves. When the toilet paper is low, people call for the toilet paper fairy. Paper towels? Paper towel fairy. Butter inContinue reading “Our House Is Run by Fairies”
I’ll Just Have the Salad
On our way to Grant’s game at Fordham, we stopped at an UNO’s Pizzeria for dinner. We don’t do it often, but occasionally Lauren and I will split entrees and share them. One of my objections to this is I always have to be the person who orders the loaded mac n cheese or sausageContinue reading “I’ll Just Have the Salad”
One Peanut Butter Sandwich Away
The Patriot League cross country meet was last Saturday. Graham ran varsity, as he had all season; it was a warm, clear October day, temperatures rising to almost eighty degrees. Graham’s goal was to run the 5k in 18:30. He ran 19:06 and finished fifth on his team—he normally finishes third. Naturally, this led toContinue reading “One Peanut Butter Sandwich Away”
More Adulting through Car Trouble
A few weeks ago, Grant called me in the middle of the work day. “Dad, I want you to know that I’m doing real adulting here.” “That’s good.” “I went out to my car this morning and it wouldn’t start. I realized it was out of gas. Instead of calling you and f-bombing everything andContinue reading “More Adulting through Car Trouble”
Halloween Special: The Gallery of Terror
I was getting ready to write a post in which I included some screenshots from my text messages, and I realized that, for the uninitiated, they might be confusing. One of the people writing is “Post Malone,” and another is “Robert Rage,” and my dear readers might wonder who those are. At one point, weContinue reading “Halloween Special: The Gallery of Terror”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 