Do your part: help slow the spread of it by washing your hands thoroughly. Use hot water, apply soap, and rub hands together vigorously while singing “Happy Birthday.” Rinse hands in hot water. Employees are required to wash hands as prescribed before returning to work. Disinfecting wipes that kill it are provided so that youContinue reading “Do Your Part to Slow the Spread of It”
Tag Archives: Humor
The Day of Your Reward
The opening of Saving Private Ryan has a reading of the famous Bixby Letter. The letter was allegedly written by Abraham Lincoln to a Boston mother of five boys who had allegedly died in the service of the Union. It appears that Mrs. Bixby did not lose five boys for the cause, and it alsoContinue reading “The Day of Your Reward”
Origin Story of a Super Hero
They were in their room changing out of regular clothes into pajamas. “The Jensens asked us to watch their dog,” said Lauren, stepping into the closet. “Obviously, you said no,” the man said. “Actually, I didn’t.” “Come on. Seriously?” “She’s hypoallergenic. Maltipoo or something.” “Great, but it’s not like you like dogs.” “I know. ButContinue reading “Origin Story of a Super Hero”
Stop Snitching
Their cheeks were pink from the cold air, but they were both sweating from their run. “Lindsay was being a jerk, Dad,” said Grant. “Oh my gosh!” Lindsay exclaimed. She looked at the man. “He was soooo slow.” “It’s not my fault. I haven’t worked out in, like, six weeks.” “So the Missionary Training CenterContinue reading “Stop Snitching”
No, I Am Your Father
In week three of online school with all extracurriculars canceled, they are now in episode V of Star Wars. The kids’ phones are at their sides. They have watched an episode per night–one night they made popcorn, another they made sundaes with packs from Peaceful Meadows. They have watched in chronological order, supposedly as GeorgeContinue reading “No, I Am Your Father”
Wiener Pond
He hates taking the side trails home to avoid the 20-meter puddle. Today, he has an idea of how to navigate it. He slows to a walk and starts around the edge of the puddle, his feet on the edge of the sand and water. He brushes against the thorns and sticks. At the pointContinue reading “Wiener Pond”
Be Sure to Check for Bombs Under the Bed
They live in a rental house in Corpus Christi while trying to find the home they want and selling their last home in San Antonio. The boy has already checked under his bed and in his closet—fortunately, he has found no bombs. Irrational? Maybe you haven’t seen Cloak and Dagger. Maybe you don’t remember thatContinue reading “Be Sure to Check for Bombs Under the Bed”
Get Off the Idiot Box
Lucille Hill, his grandmother, is stooped over with arthritis, probably not even 5’3″. Her fingers are crooked, and her back hurts constantly. She frequently has him, his mother, or his brother use a vibrating massager to rub it out at night. She is a direct descendant of many different Mormon pioneers, Clara Mellor of MartinContinue reading “Get Off the Idiot Box”
Ass-Face-Itis
The boy has been vomiting all day, and he’s had a touch of diarrhea at least once. It’s Christmas break, and his dad is off of work, so today, they watched Gone with the Wind and Patton, now they are about to start Ike. As Dad opens the Blockbuster rental box, he smiles and laughsContinue reading “Ass-Face-Itis”
Smite Their Enemies, Lord Jesus
They were asked into the house with barely an introduction. It is a black family with two parents and at least six kids. They are faithful people who believe the scriptures ardently, respect what the elders are doing, but are satisfied to continue with their church and not learn about the Book of Mormon. ElderContinue reading “Smite Their Enemies, Lord Jesus”
The Living and the Dead, by Gordon Laws 