This is our container for grated cheese. Notice the metal grater on the other side. When the cheese is low, we attach the grater, as shown, and grate more cheese. Of course, the use of “we” in this context is restricted. Why? The other day, I was warming something, and just at the critical moment,Continue reading “Pass the Cheese, Please”
Tag Archives: Fathers
Bonus Post: Halfway Crook
You would not know it now, but for the first four years of his life, Graham basically didn’t talk. He sucked his thumb and pointed at things and figured out ways to be quietly subversive (he once hid one of my dress shoes—one shoe!—for nine months). When he was four, Graham had a pair ofContinue reading “Bonus Post: Halfway Crook”
The View from the Rafters
When it comes to my kids’ athletic events, it’s me, I’m the problem, I am that guy. A noted therapist said recently that parents should not give their adult children advice unless asked. I vowed to follow this … and failed miserably in Lindsay’s last match this weekend when I gave a lot of loudContinue reading “The View from the Rafters”
Quotes from the Road
We finished traveling to Grant’s game, watched it, then headed to Princeton for Lindsay’s wrestling tournament. We met Lindsay for dinner. Family friend John Howe traveled with us. Here are various texts, conversations, and one-liners from the day. Grant [text read aloud over Apple CarPlay]: Marvin Harrison Jr is not the best ever. I hateContinue reading “Quotes from the Road”
Bonus Post: The Day after We Fall Back
Me: Graham, did you set your clock back? Graham: Yes, Dad. I guess Grant wasn’t here to change his.
Our House Is Run by Fairies
Our house is run by mildly competent fairies. When the soap is running low in a bathroom, people announce that we need the soap fairy to visit since the humans can’t possibly refill it themselves. When the toilet paper is low, people call for the toilet paper fairy. Paper towels? Paper towel fairy. Butter inContinue reading “Our House Is Run by Fairies”
I’ll Just Have the Salad
On our way to Grant’s game at Fordham, we stopped at an UNO’s Pizzeria for dinner. We don’t do it often, but occasionally Lauren and I will split entrees and share them. One of my objections to this is I always have to be the person who orders the loaded mac n cheese or sausageContinue reading “I’ll Just Have the Salad”
The Day of the Dead
My senior English teacher, Ms. Koepsel [kep suhl], made my class memorize the following Emily Dickinson poem: They say that ‘time assuages’ —Time never did assuage —An actual suffering strengthensAs Sinews do, with age — Time is a Test of Trouble —But not a Remedy —If such it prove, it prove tooThere was no Malady.Continue reading “The Day of the Dead”
One Peanut Butter Sandwich Away
The Patriot League cross country meet was last Saturday. Graham ran varsity, as he had all season; it was a warm, clear October day, temperatures rising to almost eighty degrees. Graham’s goal was to run the 5k in 18:30. He ran 19:06 and finished fifth on his team—he normally finishes third. Naturally, this led toContinue reading “One Peanut Butter Sandwich Away”
More Adulting through Car Trouble
A few weeks ago, Grant called me in the middle of the work day. “Dad, I want you to know that I’m doing real adulting here.” “That’s good.” “I went out to my car this morning and it wouldn’t start. I realized it was out of gas. Instead of calling you and f-bombing everything andContinue reading “More Adulting through Car Trouble”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 