Modern Family used to be appointment viewing for Lauren and me—we frequently watched it and another show or two with friends, usually while sharing dinner. A number of its episode themes have become shorthand for us. For example, Lauren had occasion to say to me two weekends ago, “Did I just wedge salad you?” ThisContinue reading “Coke Zero Orange Cream is Delicious . . . Just Ask Carrie”
Category Archives: Family Stories
Bowie Hates the Cone of Shame
Never underestimate the ingenuity and determination of dogs. When Lu and Brayden lived with us, Bowie and Benny were constantly escaping and dashing all over the neighborhood. Before I could get them corralled, someone would post in the Highland Woods Facebook group something like, “Just saw two fluffy black dogs dash through my yard! LeashesContinue reading “Bowie Hates the Cone of Shame”
Treadmill, Deadmill, Dreadmill
Early in the pandemic, we canceled our membership to the YMCA and bought a treadmill. It was more than just a Dick’s Sporting Goods treadmill—we were told it was a grade just below a gym treadmill. For a year or so, it worked fine. But then it developed some curious traits. The deck seemed toContinue reading “Treadmill, Deadmill, Dreadmill”
Launch of Memory Lane
I’ve finally finished Memory Lane, a project that I’ve chipped away at over a number of years since the early days of the pandemic. On this site, I wrote a large number of stories that dated from my earliest memories and came up to the then-present day. There wasn’t a lot of rhyme, rhythm, orContinue reading “Launch of Memory Lane”
The Shed, Part 2: Life and Death Underneath
Before we get into this, fair warning—if you have a hard time with the realities of the circle of life, you probably want to stop reading now. Also, you should stop eating food of any type at all. After all, we’ve recently learned that plants literally scream when they are cut or pulled, meaning thatContinue reading “The Shed, Part 2: Life and Death Underneath”
The Shed, Part 1: Jailbreak
Back by popular demand (by which I mean, “none at all”) is an update from Greenwood Manor. For the last six months, Brayden and Lucia have lived with us as she started her new job, he started A&P certification school, and they looked for their own house. More important, their two dogs, Bowie and BennyContinue reading “The Shed, Part 1: Jailbreak”
Walking Pickett’s Charge and Catching Pokemons, but not Fish
Years ago, I worked with the American Battlefield Trust to create an augmented reality app. It’s a free download on the app store. We returned to Gettysburg on Saturday, and while Graham ran ten miles, the rest of us hiked Pickett’s Charge. Before we started, we assembled at the step-off point of the Virginians justContinue reading “Walking Pickett’s Charge and Catching Pokemons, but not Fish”
Mo Would Not Make It to the Gettysburg Address
Thursday night, we were winding down in the hotel—the kids were taking turns in the restroom, getting their showers, brushing teeth, etc. Eli got frustrated with his twin, and exclaimed, “Geez, Emma. You are slower than molasses.” He paused a moment, then said, “I really don’t know who this ‘Molasses’ is, but I guess thatContinue reading “Mo Would Not Make It to the Gettysburg Address”
The Real Winner of the Battle of Antietam
On Thursday, I took the cousins and Graham to the Antietam National Battlefield, and oh boy. Before we went, I looked up some family ancestry. We picked someone from the Laws family tree and someone from the Settle family tree. Eli’s job was to learn all he could about Charles Foster Settle and the 5thContinue reading “The Real Winner of the Battle of Antietam”
The Waffle Stomp Is Still Unsolved, and Life Is Not Fair
Wednesday morning, we embarked on the Laws cousin roadtrip to take in Antietam and Gettysburg. We had a solid eight-hour drive to Hagerstown, Maryland, where I had booked our hotels. The ride was amazing, incredible even. And by amazing, I mean, “Wow, I didn’t know this was possible,” and by incredible, I mean, “You willContinue reading “The Waffle Stomp Is Still Unsolved, and Life Is Not Fair”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 