When Grant was little, no matter what time we put him to bed, he woke up at first light. We would hear his feet hit the floor next to his bed, then the sound of a small stampede, and then he would land on me and exclaim in my face, “Hi, Dad!” It hardly matteredContinue reading “I Love the Smell of Text Messages in the Morning”
Tag Archives: Humor
Jesus Runs for President
*The following is NOT one of my family stories but is literary fiction. It’s also satire and might offend the sensibilities of some. This week on Politically Fit we sit down with Jesus Christ who this week announced his candidacy for President of the United States. The following interview has been lightly edited for clarityContinue reading “Jesus Runs for President”
Sweet Dreams Are Made of These
Lucia’s first message to us Friday morning was a great opener. Lu: I had another horrible dream. Mom and dad absolutely HATED my guts. Me: That wasn’t a dream. Oh, uh, I mean, how terrible. Lu: True. It was so stressful Lauren: Awww. Sad!!I don’t hate you. I love you. Lu: I love you too!Continue reading “Sweet Dreams Are Made of These”
Rising Again from the Swamp
When Lauren and I were engaged, we bought a Dodge Neon. The car was a funky shade of purple but the dealer key labeled it blue, so we called it Blue Thunder. It had a number of unique, uh, features, the best one being a trunk with a poor weather seal. When it rained, waterContinue reading “Rising Again from the Swamp”
Who Learnt Lindsay How to Reed and Spoke?
Lauren’s mother traditionally sends Mindy mints from Mrs. Cavanaugh’s to her kids on Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Christmas. These are usually large mint chocolate hearts or eggs with our names on them. Lauren has started the tradition with our kids and their significant others. They were such big hits with Lindsay and Carson that CarsonContinue reading “Who Learnt Lindsay How to Reed and Spoke?”
How to Plan a Great Church Youth Activity
Part of what our Church’s youth program tries to do is develop leadership in the kids. They meet on most Tuesday nights, and this year they asked each kid to plan two activities. I checked in with one of our leaders, Craig, to confirm activities were to happen Tuesday night, and we had this exchange.Continue reading “How to Plan a Great Church Youth Activity”
Lu Is Megamind, Brayden Is Karen, Lindsay Is Bob Ross, and Lauren Is a Dumper
Lucia and Brayden had to do new military IDs for their base housing, and as we all know, government ID pictures are mortifying. Here at Greenhill Manor, we are into mortifying. We are especially into mortifying when elite meme skills get involved, and Lucia has elite meme skills. For example, Lu sent us this imageContinue reading “Lu Is Megamind, Brayden Is Karen, Lindsay Is Bob Ross, and Lauren Is a Dumper”
Lauren Is Armed with Gyatt as a Weapon
We spent Saturday at Lock Haven University to watch Lindsay and her teammates compete in the National Collegiate Women’s Wrestling Region 1 Championships. Wrestling tournaments are somewhat like amusement parks: hours of walking around or sitting and staring punctuated by bursts of terror and occasional thrills. Lindsay wound up placing seventh and on the podium—aContinue reading “Lauren Is Armed with Gyatt as a Weapon”
My New Secret Ingredient
Thursday night, Lauren and I combined to make a great dinner of roasted chicken thighs and vegetables atop Cajun rice. I made Dobby his own small plate, and its reception was, well, underwhelming. He’s been expressing a strong preference for red meat lately, so much so that he turned his nose up at chicken McNuggetsContinue reading “My New Secret Ingredient”
Brayden Got Home and Thanos Snapped His Fingers
We all love those clips of soldiers and sailors coming home, greeting or surprising their loved ones, hugging everyone and laughing and so forth. Ever wonder what’s on the other side of those? Like, what does the next day look like? Why, balance in the universe, of course, which as we know from holy writ,Continue reading “Brayden Got Home and Thanos Snapped His Fingers”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 