I took Dobby for a Sunday hike before it got too rainy. I was clothed appropriately for the woods–boots, jeans, and long-sleeved sweatshirt. Nevertheless, later that morning, I scratched an itch on my back, felt a lump, checked it in the mirror, and saw an embedded tick. You probably know that I have had LymeContinue reading “My Own At-Home Civil War Surgery”
Tag Archives: Humor
Bonus Post: Let’s Give Credit Where It Is Due
The day after I posted about Lil Pebis, the kids caught on to details of the story that I hadn’t regarded as terribly significant. First, we got this text from Lindsay over the family group chat (which, yes, is called The Goons): So credit to Lindsay for parenting Graham. On a related note, Silver LakeContinue reading “Bonus Post: Let’s Give Credit Where It Is Due”
Adulting through Car Trouble
Lauren was on the road Saturday to and from Grant’s game. She called me at one point from the wilds of western New York. “Lindsay called me,” she said. “They’re going to Carson’s house in Athens but the Corolla can’t detect the key anymore. That’s just the key fob, right?” “Probably,” I said. “You usuallyContinue reading “Adulting through Car Trouble”
Straight Outta the Burbs
I confess we basically don’t parent Graham. For a few days, he’s been talking about how he is killing it in this sim game called Music Wars Rock Star. So we went out to dinner, and I got him to tell me all about it. You create a character who is a rapper or singer,Continue reading “Straight Outta the Burbs”
Not One of Those Days
This is part of an ongoing group of flash stories capturing little moments from daily life. The leaves and pine needles down in the yard were finally too much, so I mowed the lawn yesterday. I have a yard covering probably 1.5 acres, and I mow it with a Husqvarna riding mower that has aContinue reading “Not One of Those Days”
Do Your Part to Slow the Spread of It
Do your part: help slow the spread of it by washing your hands thoroughly. Use hot water, apply soap, and rub hands together vigorously while singing “Happy Birthday.” Rinse hands in hot water. Employees are required to wash hands as prescribed before returning to work. Disinfecting wipes that kill it are provided so that youContinue reading “Do Your Part to Slow the Spread of It”
Origin Story of a Super Hero
They were in their room changing out of regular clothes into pajamas. “The Jensens asked us to watch their dog,” said Lauren, stepping into the closet. “Obviously, you said no,” the man said. “Actually, I didn’t.” “Come on. Seriously?” “She’s hypoallergenic. Maltipoo or something.” “Great, but it’s not like you like dogs.” “I know. ButContinue reading “Origin Story of a Super Hero”
Stop Snitching
Their cheeks were pink from the cold air, but they were both sweating from their run. “Lindsay was being a jerk, Dad,” said Grant. “Oh my gosh!” Lindsay exclaimed. She looked at the man. “He was soooo slow.” “It’s not my fault. I haven’t worked out in, like, six weeks.” “So the Missionary Training CenterContinue reading “Stop Snitching”
No, I Am Your Father
In week three of online school with all extracurriculars canceled, they are now in episode V of Star Wars. The kids’ phones are at their sides. They have watched an episode per night–one night they made popcorn, another they made sundaes with packs from Peaceful Meadows. They have watched in chronological order, supposedly as GeorgeContinue reading “No, I Am Your Father”
Wiener Pond
He hates taking the side trails home to avoid the 20-meter puddle. Today, he has an idea of how to navigate it. He slows to a walk and starts around the edge of the puddle, his feet on the edge of the sand and water. He brushes against the thorns and sticks. At the pointContinue reading “Wiener Pond”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 