Sunday was a personal disaster from which there is undoubtedly no coming back. Oh, from the outside looking in it probably seemed fine. There was the whole amusing thing about Graham forgetting to run the last lap in a relay his team wasn’t going to win. After, we went home, we watched playoff football, ateContinue reading “A Day that Will Live in Infamy”
Tag Archives: Family
That’s Not What He Wanted to Cook
Sunday was the statewide indoor relays—all relays, no individual events. Graham was assigned to the distance medley relay, as were three other freshmen. A team stacked with four freshmen is not likely to be a main contender, and indeed, they were seeded twenty-first in the field and put in the slow heat. The medley relayContinue reading “That’s Not What He Wanted to Cook”
But That’s Lauren
Last week during the birthday dinner for our brother-in-law, Lauren looked up mid-meal and said, “I can’t believe I just did that.” “What’s that?” I said. “I gave myself twenty units of insulin. I meant to cover twenty grams of carbs. That was really stupid. I’ve never done that before.” “So you have too muchContinue reading “But That’s Lauren”
Runner’s High
At my last job, one of our practices was sports analytics. We did cognitive and personality evaluations of athletes for professional and NCAA teams. At one point, I had done hundreds of semantic analyses that gave us Big Five reads of players, and I had seen a pretty consistent pattern emerge among wide receivers atContinue reading “Runner’s High”
Dear Lauren, You Were Right
Before we dive into the meat of today’s story, let’s start with a short quiz. In the Laws household, who loaded the dishwasher in the manner seen in the photo? (a) Gordon(b) Lauren(c) Graham(d) Dobby Correct answer and at the end. Well, today is tough to write. We evaluated the weather last night and decidedContinue reading “Dear Lauren, You Were Right”
Cold Mornings and Bags of 💩
I had a dream once in which I caught Lauren adding to a list on a Steno pad. When I asked what the list was, dream Lauren said, “It’s everything you do wrong and everything you do to annoy me.” When I told her about said dream, Lauren said, “That sounds like something you wouldContinue reading “Cold Mornings and Bags of 💩”
Days of Rage and Redemption
Yesterday was a day of rage and redemption. Across the land, the country was divided—howls of lamentation on the one hand; jeers, cheers, and joy on the other. And then, a level of symmetric justice was dealt, and balance was restored in the universe. Of course, I am not speaking of the Iowa caucuses norContinue reading “Days of Rage and Redemption”
The New Myth of Porn Star Farms
The issue of ice cream is deadly serious in the Laws household. And yes, I say issue. Lauren, in particular, is a Massachusetts ice cream aficionado—she can go into just about any parlor from the South Shore to the North Shore and know exactly what the best flavor is and how to manipulate the systemContinue reading “The New Myth of Porn Star Farms”
The Greatest Thing Is Sliced Bread
When I was a kid, my mother ground wheat once a week in this huge, loud machine, then used the flour to make seven loaves of whole wheat bread. As an obnoxious child, I found this ordinary and boring, and I always wanted white Butterkrust bread from the store. My Grandma Hill, who lived withContinue reading “The Greatest Thing Is Sliced Bread”
God Hears and Answers Prayers
A few months ago, I was listening to a radio show in which a woman discussed growing up Jewish but not believing. In adulthood, she had come back around to her faith. She recommended a particular technique for conversing with deity. She said to go out into nature, settle somewhere, and speak to deity withoutContinue reading “God Hears and Answers Prayers”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 