Pass the Cheese, Please

This is our container for grated cheese. Notice the metal grater on the other side. When the cheese is low, we attach the grater, as shown, and grate more cheese. Of course, the use of “we” in this context is restricted. Why? The other day, I was warming something, and just at the critical moment,Continue reading “Pass the Cheese, Please”

Bonus Post: Halfway Crook

You would not know it now, but for the first four years of his life, Graham basically didn’t talk. He sucked his thumb and pointed at things and figured out ways to be quietly subversive (he once hid one of my dress shoes—one shoe!—for nine months). When he was four, Graham had a pair ofContinue reading “Bonus Post: Halfway Crook”

How to Stay Married for Twenty-Five Years

In April of this coming year, Lauren and I will have been married for twenty-five years. How have we done it? I’m glad you asked. Conversations like the following reveal how. Tuesday night, I had school committee business to present to the Halifax Board of Selectmen. Lauren volunteered to drive Graham to the church forContinue reading “How to Stay Married for Twenty-Five Years”

The View from the Rafters

When it comes to my kids’ athletic events, it’s me, I’m the problem, I am that guy. A noted therapist said recently that parents should not give their adult children advice unless asked. I vowed to follow this … and failed miserably in Lindsay’s last match this weekend when I gave a lot of loudContinue reading “The View from the Rafters”

Bonus Post: Crazy Head

Lindsay was probably nine years old and Lucia eleven when we were playing soccer in the front yard and Lucia antagonized Lindsay. I don’t remember exactly what the issue was, but Lucia was clearly at fault and Lindsay clearly was not. So I got irritated with Lucia, spoke sharply to her, and banished her toContinue reading “Bonus Post: Crazy Head”

Quotes from the Road

We finished traveling to Grant’s game, watched it, then headed to Princeton for Lindsay’s wrestling tournament. We met Lindsay for dinner. Family friend John Howe traveled with us. Here are various texts, conversations, and one-liners from the day. Grant [text read aloud over Apple CarPlay]: Marvin Harrison Jr is not the best ever. I hateContinue reading “Quotes from the Road”

Our House Is Run by Fairies

Our house is run by mildly competent fairies. When the soap is running low in a bathroom, people announce that we need the soap fairy to visit since the humans can’t possibly refill it themselves. When the toilet paper is low, people call for the toilet paper fairy. Paper towels? Paper towel fairy. Butter inContinue reading “Our House Is Run by Fairies”

I’ll Just Have the Salad

On our way to Grant’s game at Fordham, we stopped at an UNO’s Pizzeria for dinner. We don’t do it often, but occasionally Lauren and I will split entrees and share them. One of my objections to this is I always have to be the person who orders the loaded mac n cheese or sausageContinue reading “I’ll Just Have the Salad”

The Day of the Dead

My senior English teacher, Ms. Koepsel [kep suhl], made my class memorize the following Emily Dickinson poem: They say that ‘time assuages’ —Time never did assuage —An actual suffering strengthensAs Sinews do, with age — Time is a Test of Trouble —But not a Remedy —If such it prove, it prove tooThere was no Malady.Continue reading “The Day of the Dead”