For the first time in five years, we do not have a kid preparing for the Massachusetts All State Wrestling tournament this week, meaning that our Presidents’ Day had no agenda. Graham had to work at Chick-Fil-A, so it was up to Lauren and me to entertain ourselves. If you haven’t learned by now, there’sContinue reading “On the Trail of Moby-Dick”
Category Archives: Adult Years
Dobby Will Not Hike
On Sunday mornings, I try to change up the routine by taking Dobby for a hike in the woods behind the house. I prefer this because I don’t have to clean up his poop, and I also don’t feel obligated to be going any pace—it’s mental and physical exercise for him but is a dayContinue reading “Dobby Will Not Hike”
No Marshmallow
We have had five pregnancies and four babies but neither of those for more than fifteen years. In fact, owing to Lauren’s type 1 diabetes and a discussion around how it should not always be on the woman to prevent pregnancy, a few years ago I saw the doctor for the procedure (which side note,Continue reading “No Marshmallow”
Did You Get the Memo?
Over lunch, I often take Dobby outside for some exercise and mental stimulation. I usually break this into two parts: a hike in the woods where he can smell things, go off trail, and explore followed by returning home to play soccer in the yard. By far, his favorite thing on earth is playing soccer,Continue reading “Did You Get the Memo?”
Everything Is Out to Get Me
Bear with me through a list of sorts. In the last six months, we’ve had to deal with the following. Six weeks ago, we started smelling furnace exhaust in the living room. We called our furnace guy. He came over twice and improved the efficiency of the furnace markedly, which improved the output of exhaust,Continue reading “Everything Is Out to Get Me”
A Red-Hot Engagement Anniversary
On Tuesday, Lauren posted about the twenty-fifth anniversary of our engagement, and everyone understood it and congratulated her (and us) appropriately, instead of confusing it for our wedding anniversary, and I am quite irritated about this because I am the clear communicator around here and you all did not understand my post a couple yearsContinue reading “A Red-Hot Engagement Anniversary”
Fairy Order Must Be Restored and a Dispatch from the USS Taylor Swift
I was away for thirty-six hours on a business trip, and when I came home, I found that everything had fallen apart and that’s it every man for himself here at Greenhill Manor. Inasmuch as I am the only full-grown adult man at Greenhill Manor, that means it’s me for myself. The Fairy System utterlyContinue reading “Fairy Order Must Be Restored and a Dispatch from the USS Taylor Swift”
It’s All My Fault
February 13 is a big day in Laws family mythology. A year ago, I posted about this on Facebook, noting that the day marked twenty-four years since I had asked Lauren to marry me. And of course, I included appropriate messages of love, celebration, and self-denigration. I thought it was all pretty clear, but sureContinue reading “It’s All My Fault”
My Failures as a Parent
I have failed as a parent. Oh, I’m sure this picture suggests otherwise. But the failure is embedded in the picture. Can’t see it? I mean, you’re right—it is lovely that our kids like each other enough to get together for the Super Bowl on their own. And we adore both Katy (Grant’s wife) andContinue reading “My Failures as a Parent”
The Elliott Women Are a Mafia Rewriting Our History, and I Am Here to Stop Them
The assault on the memory of Peaceful Meadows continues. Lauren’s sister Lisa is in town to visit her mother, and as a former lover of Peaceful Meadows, she desperately needed to try Porn Star Farms’ ice cream to see if it was a suitable replacement. So we had Grammie and Lisa over for dinner SaturdayContinue reading “The Elliott Women Are a Mafia Rewriting Our History, and I Am Here to Stop Them”
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 