I Sleep With a Traitor

Let us all take a moment or, preferably many moments, to appreciate the artistry of this image, which was used in yesterday’s post.

Not knowing that said image was to be featured in yesterday’s post, Lucia was unhappy with the reception it got over the Goons. There were various “ha has” and the like, but Lucia felt that the praise did not match the artistry. Hence, we had this text exchange, and a traitor was revealed. A traitor who actually sleeps in my bed. We had been in the middle of Grant trolling the family yet again over Taylor Swift and the Chiefs when suddenly Lu broke in with this.

Lucia: I would like to clarify this pic was a special request from mom

Me: Wow

Lauren: It’s an epic pic! Dobby commissioned it. I just told Lu he was asking for that. [As we will see, this is demonstrably false.] “I get Dad pillows. Dad get dog bed.”

Lucia:

Brayden: 😂😂😂😂

Me: Wow. I have no words (stunning, I know).

Lauren: I was on Dobby’s errand.

Me: Uh huh

Lucia: Brayden, I’m sorry you joined this family

Lauren: We all have to do what Dobby says

Lucia: Brayden, you are not safe from my photoshopping. I was feeling slighted that my pic didn’t get enough recognition so I had to expose mom. Not proud of breaking client confidentiality but I broke

Me: So much betrayal here

Lauren: Hahaha. Dad has never looked better.

Lucia: Honestly yeah

Brayden: Lmaooooo Gordon’s a furry!

Me: Lindsay just told me over the phone that the photo killed her

Lucia: Hahahahha. There’s a lot of artistry that goes into it. That pic of dad was very carefully selected. It was all intentional

Lauren: It’s exquisite. I love how you left DOB’s ears on.

Lucia: Yes all intentional. I’m glad you see the artistry

Lauren: I am sorry for not praising it more. You are gifted.

Me:

Lu: Sorry. Been too busy to read this chat or write.
Me: Why?
Lu: oh, uh, meming my dad to dunk on him

Lucia: Oh dad that meme was created at 10pm when I was done with my day

Lauren: The meme gene comes from you Gordon

So there’s a lot to unpack here. First, there’s no way the meme gene comes from me. Every once in a while, I put two photos side by side to make a point or a joke, but Lu has been taking photos of people in their worst possible light for as long as she has had a phone or iPod. Second, this damn photo got more family discussion than any published short story or novel I have ever written. Third, you can feel free to send Lucia your praise of her artistry. She is on Facebook here. Fourth, I am not a furry.

Fifth and finally, I lie down every night with a traitor, and said traitor is not Dobby. I will be sleeping with one eye open.

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