We finished traveling to Grant’s game, watched it, then headed to Princeton for Lindsay’s wrestling tournament. We met Lindsay for dinner. Family friend John Howe traveled with us. Here are various texts, conversations, and one-liners from the day.
Grant [text read aloud over Apple CarPlay]: Marvin Harrison Jr is not the best ever. I hate cock glazers.
Lauren: Sorry you had to hear that, John. He gets his mouth from his father.
**
Lauren [text to family]: So Graham farted in the car and I couldn’t say anything cuz what if it was John? Readers: it was Graham.
**
Lu [text to family]:
Lu: “we should go on a cruise when you’re out of the military”
Bray [Lu’s boyfriend]: “as long as your family can come”
You guys are prob coming on our honeymoon
**
Lauren [text to family]: John Howe is a member of the Graham Laws eating slow club.
Also I might have the “I sweat” club
Lu: Wow. I’ll be in the I sweat club
**
Lindsay: Carson asked me if you like him, Dad. I told him you do.
Me: I like him.
Lindsay: I told him he would know for sure when you turn him into a meme.
Me: Speaking of which, he won’t cut his beard cuz he says he looks like a little kid without it, right?
Lindsay: Yeah
Me: Maybe if you told him he looks like a leprechaun?
Lindsay: Dad!
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 