Halloween Special: The Gallery of Terror

I was getting ready to write a post in which I included some screenshots from my text messages, and I realized that, for the uninitiated, they might be confusing. One of the people writing is “Post Malone,” and another is “Robert Rage,” and my dear readers might wonder who those are. At one point, we all shared the same iCloud, and Grant kept going in and changing everyone’s names to nicknames. Pictures being worth a thousand words, I’ve used them to explain.

Lucia is Post Malone in my messages. When I asked Grant why, he said matter-of-factly, “Because she looks like Post Malone,” and I was like, “I don’t see it.” Well, then Lucia did one of those filter things where you can make yourself the opposite gender or super skinny or large or whatever, and yeah, maybe I see it.

But where does she get these superstar looks? I’m glad you asked! This would be Lauren with the same filter. Keep in mind the center part Post Malone has here. It’s important later.

Lauren bears resemblance to a couple of rock stars, in fact, especially when she gets her hair done just so.

Lindsay is Robert Rage. This stems from the fact that Lindsay does not take grief from people and had no issue getting knocked down by her older brother in soccer, then coming up swinging. It also stems from some kind of weird nicknaming that Grant and Lucia did of her. At one point, they called her Robert Eugene Washington Sassafrass Rage. Don’t ask. I don’t know.

I did catch Lindsay once in a chorus concert looking ever so serious, and it did lead me to ask the well-memed question. But let’s be honest, someone else in the family gets that question way more often than she does.

As I said in the tick bite post, I have facial paralysis, so smiling is a chore. Okay, yeah fine—I wasn’t a smiler even before Lyme disease. Being the upstanding humans my children are, Lindsay once carved a jack-o-lantern that had this expression, and all my kids laughed at me.

There are no teasing memes of Dobby. He is elite. Only one human even begins to draw comparisons to him.

We all want to look and be like Dobby. In this case, Lauren got quite taken with the idea of center-parted hair, gave Dobby the look, then imitated it. In this case, she could rock Dobby and Post Malone. As I said before, she resembles a number of rockstars.

Happy Halloween!