I collect Civil War, Revolutionary War, and Colonial-era ephemera—nothing too exotic, just old soldiers’ letters, tax receipts, ship manifests, that sort of thing. (Don’t come rob my house, stalkers—I’ve never paid more than $100 for anything.) I had to work this morning before taking the afternoon off to take the cousins to Lexington and Concord. To engage the youthful brains, I gave them an indoor scavenger hunt consisting of these clues:
- There are two artifacts related to the KKK. Find and identify them. [Don’t @ me—they’re Confederate artifacts, and Confederates started the KKK.]
- Did you have to pay property taxes on enslaved people? One artifact here confirms the answer. Find it!
- The Salem witch hunt started with two little girls. Two artifacts are related to one of the girls, and YOU are related to that family. Find the artifacts.
- Lauren’s sisters love to tell her that she should start a company called Chasing Tail or Looking for Blow. What piece of art or artifact explains this?
- If you lived 7000 years ago, you would take one of these hunting!
- Two hundred years ago, even a horse would call this “tacky.”
- A famous Congressman was called The Great Compromiser and a famous play is about him and the devil. Tragically, his son was killed in the Civil War. Who was he, and what do we have of him?
- The Underground Railroad is NOT a real railroad. But one of its stops is featured in this art or artifact.
- This young man joined the army in Connecticut and soon found himself wounded by Stonewall Jackson’s men at Antietam. You are related to both him AND Stonewall Jackson. Tragically, this man died in a prison camp. Who is he? And what did older chicks see in him?
- A burning hot forest is a helluva place to lose a leg. That’s what happened to this relative of yours.
- If you made your family fortune by importing 40,000 slaves, do you think you should have to give the money back? I don’t know, but this cousin of yours made his fortune that way.
- Just 350 of these Mainers stood up to 10,000 Confederates at Gettysburg. They were also at Fredericksburg and Petersburg. You’re married into their family.
Emma saw the list and said, “I would prefer to play Roblox where they have a Taylor Swift game. See, in the game, Taylor Swift’s songs have all been stolen, and you have to find and collect them again.”
“So let me get this right,” I said. “You would rather do a digital scavenger hunt than a real scavenger hunt.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Well, they played along, and they managed to find maybe half of the stuff in two hours of searching. Some pictures below. I then gave them a tour and explained each thing. I’m sure they were really impressed and thought I was the coolest uncle ever.
Then we went to Lexington and Concord to learn about “The Shot Heard Round the World,” which both towns vehemently claim. I should have paid attention when Graham looked on Strava and declared, “THEY ARE PAVING THE BATTLE ROAD TRAIL. THIS SUCKS. ALL THE RUNNERS IN MASS ARE PISSED BECAUSE IT IS A GREAT UNPAVED RUNNING TRAIL.” I took this for a pro-runner rant and did not think through at all the logistics of paving the trail.
We stopped at the Old North Bridge, and I explained the battle sequence to the kids. We got this fine picture.
Then we tried to head to the visitors center that sits in the middle of the Battle Road Trail. It was almost as though it had been wiped off the GPS map. Turns out, there was a reason—they’re FREAKING PAVING THE WHOLE FIVE-MILE TRAIL. Obviously, Biden did this. Cuz he did everything bad. We found the center closed. We started on the trail and immediately ran into a sign telling us that there were “rolling sections” of the trail being worked on ALL SUMMER. ARGH!
I drove them to Lexington Green. We also drove to The Bloody Angle, which was mercifully open for five more days. I emphasized to them, “Three things to remember: 1. First shot at Lexington Green, 2. First organized fighting at Old North Bridge, 3. Worst fighting at The Bloody Angle.”
As we rode home, I asked the kids what they had retained.
Will: I learned I have a lot of Revolutionary ancestry. Also, the two towns fight about who claims The Shot Heard Round the World. The first shot was at Lexington. The first real fighting was at that old bridge. The Bloody Angle. It was bad.
Me: Okay. Great. How about you Eli?
Eli: Umm . . . uhhh . . . umm . . .
Will: Dude, are you serious?
Eli: Shut up! I’m thinking! I’m trying to remember the words!
Will: He literally just said everything. And then I did.
Eli: I said I’m thinking.
Me: How about you, Emma?
Emma: That one lady saw the redcoats and thought they looked hot, like firemen. [This was something Graham said while looking at a historical marker near the Hartwell house. Mrs. Hartwell declared the redcoat column the grandest spectacle she had seen.]
Me: Okay, well, did you all have fun?
Will: It was cool.
Eli: What?
Emma: Yeah. Sure.
We have four more epic days ahead of us.
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