The Laws cousins from Houston arrived on Monday. They’re escaping the hurricane-wrecked city and roadtripping with the boys this week. Graham and I headed into the urban hellscape known as Logan to pick them up. The twins, Eli and Emma, have never been to Boston while their older brother Will hasn’t visited in a decade.
Graham guided them out of the airport and brought them to the car. When he closed the door, Graham exclaimed, “All right, Eli and Emma, the first thing to know about Massachusetts is no one here is nice.”
I wanted to disagree, but the encounter I had just had with a state trooper who was helping to mismanage traffic around the closed Sumner Tunnel persuaded me otherwise. Instead, I said, “It’s like this. If you are stuck on the road with a flat tire in California, all your friends will say, ‘Wow, that sucks. Let me know how it turns out.’ In Boston, your friends will say, ‘What the f—- is wrong with you? You don’t know how to fix a f—-ing flat? Fine, I’ll be there in fifteen to bail your sorry ass out.’”
On the way south, we discussed Will’s upcoming departure for college, and he asked me to help him put together a resume. No need, though, because Graham solved it.
“Just lie,” he said. “Or stretch the truth so far it is ready to break.”
“The Laws in the north are built on a foundation of integrity and ethics,” I said.
Later, Emma told Lauren, “Uncle Gordon reminds me so much of my dad! He told all these stories with all these f- bombs and yelled at all these guys in traffic.” Stephen and I are brothers after all.
We headed to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate Lucia’s birthday. On the way, we stopped briefly at Plymouth Rock. I instructed the kids to “get together and take a picture with the rock.”
No one understood the assignment. I got these selfies with no group photos of the cousins together instead. Sigh.
Lauren solved the issue at dinner.
Lucia is now twenty-one, which made her too old to hop in the Roadhouse birthday saddle. The rest of the day she celebrated by sleeping. It’s tempting to make a joke about this, but she is twenty-one with a dual degree in finance and accounting, a good husband, and a job at Deloitte. Plus, she’s jet lagged and just did Canobie Lake the day before. So let’s give her a day.
We wrapped the day with a cake I made from a box and topped with rainbow chip frosting.
As we ate said cake, Emma announced, “Know how else Uncle Gordon reminds me of my dad? They’re both nerds!”
Indeed.
His Smile Lit Up a Room and Other Things to Say at My Funeral 