Rising Again from the Swamp

When Lauren and I were engaged, we bought a Dodge Neon. The car was a funky shade of purple but the dealer key labeled it blue, so we called it Blue Thunder. It had a number of unique, uh, features, the best one being a trunk with a poor weather seal. When it rained, water leaked into the trunk, then into the foot well of the rear driver’s side seat. Hence, people often got into our car and said things like, “Why does it smell like feet in here?” And we found out later that Lauren’s family called it the Swamp Mobile.

Blue Thunder died on Route 24 in Massachusetts a few years after, but twenty years later, its swamp spirit has come home. This evening, we had this conversation with Brayden.

B: Y’all wanna see the coolest grossest thing ever?

B: SAY YESSS

Me: Ok

B:

B: My car grew a mushroom in it😂😂😂

Me: wtf. When?

B: Today just now. Lmao the dirt particles around it is rust, so it’s open to the environment and it’s been super humid. So it popped a mushroom out the carpet. Normal Hawaii car stuff, you know just popping mushrooms out.

Me:

B: Bro you’re telling me

I’ve been fighting the mold in this car since I’ve had the damn thing

The window doesn’t close all the way too so if I don’t dry the seats when I rains it molds up then I have a spray I dump on it and scrub

The carpet is another story🥲

Lauren: Don’t eat it.

Lu: Brayden wanted me to make it clear to you all that he’s not a disgusting person and it’s not his fault a mushroom grew in the car. The guy who sold it to him didn’t tell him it had a mold and window problem.

Lauren: We didn’t think that at all. We literally had a car called the swamp mobile.

Brayden, I dub your car Swamp Thing. Or maybe Shroom Wagon. Or The Magic School Bus. Or …

Feel free to send suggestions.

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