Did You Get the Memo?

Over lunch, I often take Dobby outside for some exercise and mental stimulation. I usually break this into two parts: a hike in the woods where he can smell things, go off trail, and explore followed by returning home to play soccer in the yard. By far, his favorite thing on earth is playing soccer, and he frequently tries to cut the hike short so that we can get to his favorite thing.

After our mild snowstorm on Tuesday, we had about three inches on the ground. I tried to take Dobby for the normal hike, but he wasn’t into it at all. I surrendered and went back to play an extended game of soccer. I notified the Goons that Dobby ended our “hike” at the shed, and he had forced me to turn around to play soccer.

Lauren responded: Apparently, Dad didn’t get the memo. There will be no hike today.

Me: I guess I didn’t.

Lauren: All the rest of us did.

And then amazingly, here came the memo.

Lauren: See? I got it. How did you miss it?

So yeah, I missed a memo.

The next day, both Lindsay and Lucia sent menacing messages demanding pictures of Dobby immediately with dire consequences for failure to deliver. I pointed out to said demanding young that we have day jobs and don’t just sit around all day waiting for them to demand things. And well, that yielded another memo outburst from Dobby.

I’ve told you before how we are governed by a tiny tyrant, so I guess I should expect nothing less. But I wish he would take some more vexing issues more seriously. Like this, for example. Yesterday, I went to the fridge to get some of our coffee-flavored milk (flavored, Latter-Day Saints . . . relax) and found this.

I sent that photo to the Goons and asked why Mom does stuff like this. Lauren insisted that her cup was “full.” Uh huh. The real reason is that if she finished it, she would have to rinse the bottle and then bring in the new bottle from the outside fridge, and when you live in such a way as to make your husband do everything, that would violate your principles.

So I’ve submitted a request to Dobby for a memo, but so far, he’s ignoring my request.

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