Wicked-Old Boomers

For years, Graham has watched Minecraft videos on YouTube, particularly by Stampie, who has etched out a following in the millions. Graham is eleven now and has begun experimenting with his own content on YouTube.

Lauren and the man are working together on dinner in the kitchen. Graham comes in and announces, “There’s a guy who’s wicked rich. And if you are broadcasting yourself playing Minecraft, he will randomly hop on and give you $10,000.”

“Huh,” says the man. “That doesn’t sound shady at all.”

“I’m going to broadcast myself playing Minecraft tomorrow,” Graham says.

“Live?” says Lauren.

“Yes, live. That’s how you get the money.”

“No, you’re not broadcasting live,” says Lauren.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re eleven, and the Internet is full of freaks who try to take advantage of kids.”

“Not freaks playing Minecraft, Mom.”

Lauren turns to look at him. “The answer is no. If you want to make a screen recording, you can do that. But you are not broadcasting live.”

“Mom! This is so ridiculous! I can’t get the money if I’m not live!”

“Graham, this guy is not going to give you money just for being there,” Lauren says. “It’s like winning the lottery. Maybe even less likely than that because who knows if it’s even true?”

“Come on, Mom!”

Lauren looks at the man. “You agree with me, right?”

The man sighs. “Enough, Graham. No live broadcasting.”

“You all are such wicked-old boomers! You don’t even understand the Internet.”

“Okay, well, our generation invented it, sooooo . . .” says the man.

“That’s not the point, Dad. You don’t even know what it does now.”

“Graham, I said enough.”

Graham turns in a huff and thunders, “It’s like you don’t want me to be successful!”

“Yes, that’s it,” says Lauren.

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